


Words Held Back

by Bluetalq



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Past Relationship(s), That ends in angst, withheld words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 16:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12112215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluetalq/pseuds/Bluetalq
Summary: Prompt: 'Why are you so afraid of saying I love you?' With percyratch?? :3c





	Words Held Back

“It’s not that I’m _afraid_ to say it-” 

“Ratchet…” 

“And I know how this must be for you, I’m definitely not tying to imply that your feelings aren’t valid-” 

“ _Ratchet_.” 

“And I definitely don’t want you to think that I don’t feel the same about you, because I _do_ , I really-” 

This time Ratchet was interrupted by lips pressing against his own, sealing his words away. Perceptor pulled away once he knew the doctor would remain silent this time, chuckling at how he, just as he usually did, freezes for a moment after the kiss, as if his processor stalled or rebooted. 

“It’s okay, Ratchet. I understand.” 

“Y-you do?” 

Another soft laugh. “Yes, I do. I don’t say "I love you” just so I can get one in return, I say it because I feel comfortable with expressing my feelings that way. Some mechs take longer than others to get to that point, so if you aren’t ready yet, I won’t rush you.“ 

Ratchet responded by leaning in to kiss Perceptor again, the scientist eagerly accepting and humming with delight at the contact. 

This time Ratchet pulled away with a smile on his faceplates, the words nearly escaping him. By once again, something churning in him pulled those words back in, where they couldn’t be freed into the open and left out where they were defenseless. Instead he went with something else. Something…close enough. 

"What did I do to deserve you…?” He mused to himself. “More importantly, how do I keep you here with me?” 

“Love me. Treat me. Never leave me.” Perceptor said as he smiled, the corners of his optics crinkling in a way that always made Ratch’s spark hum at a good tune. 

Percy leaned back into Ratchets side, returning to the datapad he was reading earlier as Ratchet snuck an arm around his waist and pulled the scientist closer, both of them enjoying their time off together at the facility in peace and rest. 

_____ 

But Ratchet _did_ leave him, and the next time he’d see him was on a datapad. 

A critical injury treatment report. 

One with multiple shots of a chestplate blown open, the damaged circuitry and machinery left exposed. Pictures of a hollow gunshot wound, bleeding, cracked, scarred, and hollow where an optic should be. 

Ratchet rolled through the report, noting every word, memorizing every detail, looking for any mistakes. The extent of damage, every gory reference image had his servos trembling and his vents stalled. 

The relief nearly broke him into pieces when he reached near the end. 

Treatment Status: Complete. 

_He was alive._

Oh thank Primus-if-be, he was alive. 

Setting the datapad down before he could go through the treatment specifics, the realization that he had left Perceptor to that had his vents wheezing in distress. 

He had left him. 

He should’ve been there for him…for _this._

He could’ve helped. 

_Or maybe he could’ve prevented it from happening at all._

Ratchet looked down at the report once last time, and a part of him said he should be _relieved_ , relieved that the mech shown floating half-dead and damaged wasn’t an almost-lost “I love you.” That he had successfully shielded himself from a possible loss and emotional turmoil. 

It only made Ratchet feel _worse._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
